Quietly holding a space on the table,
You’re an essential part of the party.
Without you we’d all have to eat like slobs.
But with you we can look classy,
Prevent crumbs from spilling onto our laps,
Wipe our mouths when we’ve taken too big a bite,
And soak up our spills when we have had one drink too many.
You can take anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes to fold
And are quickly destroyed in less than 5 seconds by a guest sitting down.
Sure, you make the table come together,
Perfectly coordinating with the tablecloth,
Accentuating the centerpiece.
But I hate when your intricate folds make my fingers hurt,
I hate when you lose your shape
And fall down,
Oftentimes you are not completely square-shaped
And that certainly doesn’t help when I’m trying to fold you.
But overall, you look great.
Whether you’re a rose, bird of paradise, fan, roll-up, or a baby’s bootie, you are versatile.
You come in many colors,
And this makes it easy to match you with the party’s color scheme.
Even though you’re a pain to maintain,
You pull the table together.
For that, I must acknowledge your role within events
And say that while you’re not my favorite thing,
You’re not my worst nightmare either.
We have the mother-of-the-bride for that.
So, fold on napkins!
Or I guess let us keep folding you into appealing shapes.